My Kids Mom

There are a billion thoughts going around in my head. Lots of mish-mash, not a lot of coherent writable thoughts. I see that my blog stats are at about 1-2 hits per day, so I figure it’s time I better put something out there again.

I find it really creepy how Facebook KNOWS me. Today, I posted my status saying that I’m a babysitter for hire, looking to make some extra income. Guess what appeared in the ads on my sidebar after that? A link to someone’s “blog” about how they make an obscene amount of money for doing nothing but sitting around at their computer posting links to Google. All you have to do is pay the shipping to receive your “kit” about how to do it. Why do so many people fall for these such obvious scams? I could go to some other people’s website and find the SAME pictures of people holding up their alleged Google checks and the same pictures of the new car they bought with their earnings etc etc. Nothing in life is that good, otherwise everyone would be doing it!! Then, the other day I updated my status about wanting to exercise (I finally learned how to spell that!) and suddenly the ad on the sidebar was for some Acai berry weight loss thing (also a scam). I couldn’t believe it! They’re IN MY BRAIN. (or, you know, my keywords in my status). It’s a little bit creepy. Actually, it’s a lot creepy.

I have been babysitting lately. It’s been great. I get paid to play with kids, put them to bed (which I always do anyways!!) and then sit and watch T.V. for a few hours. I love it!!! I have used the money for summer clothes for the kids. The other week I went out to Value Village and a garage sale and spent all of 10$, and got the following items for the kids: 2 prs shorts, 2 t-shirts, 1 pr sandals, 1 pr jeans, 1 dance bodysuit. All for 10$!! It felt sooooo good to get so much for so little! I’ve been selling some of the kids old clothes as well, I’m taking a whole bunch to a consignment shop next week. It feels a little sad to be getting rid of baby clothes… I didn’t expect to feel sad about it. Maybe it’s just because I’m a little hormonal this week I’m not sure. I SO don’t want any more babies, but there’s a weird attachment to letting baby clothes go!

I’m hoping to start blogging more again. I know I say that every post, but at least know that my intentions are there. I’d like to start adding more photos to my posts too, I know I really enjoy photos on the blogs that I read.

That’s all. I guess. For now. I’ll leave you with a video I made a month or so ago.

I thought the world might come to a crashing halt if I stopped logging in to Facebook. Mid-February I was invited to a Facebook group with people dedicated to giving it up for Lent. I have never observed Lent before, but I thought it sounded interesting and challenging. And so I looked up Lent and it’s significance, and thought it was a great idea. Observing Lent, that is. But giving up Facebook? I wasn’t so sure. In a way, it was perfect. Something I spend way too much time on and wondered if I could live without. The “connections”, the people I keep in touch with (and that’s about it) and the people whom I actually connect with outside of Facebook, could I just shut them out of my life? Wouldn’t that be rude (or something)? Surely I couldn’t do that to those people who need me on Facebook. People need me, don’t they? 

Well, I suppose they don’t. I’ve been gone, leaving my emailing information, and the people who know my number could call or text. But…. they don’t. It’s been 11 days and I’ve only heard from 2 or 3 people that I don’t usually connect with outside of Facebook. Am I surprised? Not really. I mean, what is it about Facebook that makes us feel like we are so popular and have hundreds of friends? I even caught myself a while back telling a story of a “friend of mine” who had had the same experience as someone I was conversing with. I only knew the story because I read it on a note on Facebook, and they really aren’t my friend. It seems like real friend connections don’t happen anymore, as we all live in the bubble of Facebook. I mean, I’m pretty happy in my bubble, at least it makes me feel like I’m connected, even if I’m not. You meet someone out somewhere, and the first thing you ask them when it’s time to part and you’d like to keep in touch – “Do you have Facebook?”. If not then “what’s your email?” or “can I text you?”. We only seem to want to communicate in text anymore, and is that even really communicating? I’m as guilty as the next guy, I would definitely email someone for a quick question sooner than I would call them. I’ve always had a hate for calling people, I was afraid to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, get the number wrong, find out they weren’t home and feel stupid (I know that’s irrational, but it is what it is). I appreciate text for the ability to delete and rewrite, in an instant. Even in an instant message conversation I can say something, and look at it for a second before I decide to send it. In a live conversation (phone, face to face) all that reasoning has to be done inside your head before you open your big mouth. But there’s a problem with text – there’s no facial expression, no tone of voice (besides maybe caps, italics, bolds or other things meant to accentuate), no real meaning behind the words. It is way too easy to have something someone says misconstrued. I’ve had that happen a few times recently, thankfully not something I’ve said but something someone said to me. Either people didn’t pre-read what they wrote before they sent it (which I usually try to) or I took them wrong, or they said it wrong. It’s kind of complicated trying to deduce someone’s meaning when they say something questionable in text. In fact, it even happened in my last post! I think the other easy thing about text conversations is that they are less time consuming. A quick email and on with your day. A quick note on someone’s wall and you’re on your way. No need to make small talk, formal greetings or goodbye’s, no awkward moments about when you’ll talk next at the end of the conversation. We are all so busy we just don’t have time for each other anymore. Have you been out with a friend recently and he or she can’t stop checking their phone because either they are having a text conversation while carrying a real conversation with you, or they’re looking to start one? I personally find that a little bit insulting. Am I boring? Do I not give you enough stimulation in conversation that you have to talk to someone else at the same time? This isn’t a pop-up chat window where I’m willing to wait a minute or two and stare at my screen waiting for you to reply. Put your phone away!! 

I think when Easter time is here, and I allow myself the freedom to check in on Facebook, well, I don’t know if I will. Do I need all those false connections? Why not spend time going out and making real ones instead? Isn’t life more satisfying and fulfilling when we make time for each other and actually meet face to face and do fun things together? 

What do you think about your text friends? People whom you don’t really communicate with live? Is the connection real? Is it better or worse than real face to face relationships?

I have a serious problem with a half hearted entrepreneurial spirit. I am constantly thinking of different things I want to do to make money and work for myself after my kids go to school. It’s pretty much all crafty type stuff.

I would love to own my own baby boutique, but it would be handmade stuff that people are selling at REASONABLE prices. I get so frustrated when I got to the baby store and find all this adorable stuff that is soooooo over priced. I’d like to make it so that average moms can still dress their babies with the latest trends and accessories without having to have a 6 figure salary (or 30,000 in credit card debt). I would have a lot of my own baby stuff in there that I’ve made, but I’d open it up to other moms who are making stuff also. I have a whole list of the different kind of stuff that I’ve seen that is fairly simple to make but people charge obscene amounts of money for.

I would love to own my own scrapbook store. There is a place for lease in the mini-mall next to the Sobey’s right near my old house that I think would be the perfect location. There’s no scrapbook store around here, and it’s a very high traffic area. It’s also an older building so I have imagined in my mind that the lease wouldn’t be too expensive. I would also have a large truck that I would drive around (like a delivery truck) to people’s personal events (church crop night, community crop, private class or whatever) and bring all kinds of supplies for them to purchase. It could also be a mobile store, for different special events around town, or for a birthday gift for someone or something like that. I would also host weekend crop retreats and bring the mobile store with me there. 

I have another list of stuff I’d like to make to sell for Farmer’s Markets or craft sales or the like as well. Cards, PJ pants, diaper bags, quilts, baby blankets, etc etc etc!! Make a brand name, and just start selling stuff. Eventually get it into stores and such like that. 

You see, the problem with all of this, is that I have a terrible work ethic. I would love to get started on all this, I think it would be tons of fun, but as soon as the real work starts or the commitment or the stress of it all… I’d give up in a fast hurry. I think part of it is the adventure and the excitement and the dream of doing something new and different. I’m constantly looking for ways to change things up in my life because I get bored and distracted easily, and I think this is just another way of dreaming and entertaining my mind. Today, for example, I was browsing Kijiji for a MotorHome. I have the travel/vacation bug right now (desperately wanting to escape the snow and the cold) and I was dreaming about buying an old motorhome. MyKidsDad would fix up the engine and mechanics and make it road worthy, and I’d fix up the inside and renovate and make it clean and beautiful. And then we’d drive off into the sunset and have so much fun. 

Someday, I hope to make some of my big dreams a reality.

What are you day-dreaming about?

I don’t really like to make resolutions, because I never ever keep them. There are things that I want to work harder at this year though, so I’m going to write them down as goals, just something to look back to. Here they are…

• We bought our first house! We get the keys 3 weeks from today. My plan is to be a much better housekeeper in the house I own then the houses I’ve rented. I want to show my pride of ownership, and I’m hoping that because it’s a smaller house and a much different layout it will be easier to keep tidy and clean.
• I want to lose another 5-10 pounds. I’m still playing soccer once a week, and I’m trying to eat less. It’s not necessarily what I eat, but how much I eat. So, portion control when I’m eating something yummy is really really hard for me. I also want to do more exercise at home, whether it be pilates, Wii Fit, using my eliptical machine, or shoveling the walk like I’ve been doing the last few weeks! Such a great workout!
• I want to use my time more efficiently. I want to spend more quality time with my kids, doing crafts, making up new games, spending Bible time together, etc. I also want to blog more, y’know, give off more intelligent thought and less time mindlessly clicking around on Facebook. I always have lots of smart thoughts and things to blog about in my mind, I’d like to take the time to write them down.
• I want to sing more at church. I sang for Christmas and I felt like I stunk it up a bit because I was so nervous. I want to do it more so I won’t be so nervous, so I can actually bless the people around me with a gift God has given me. No, I’m not some amazing singer, I don’t want a recording contract or anything, but I like to sing and I can hold a note and I know that my church family enjoys hearing me sing. So I sang at Christmas and it was a song I was passionate about and I that I felt confident in being good at, and I was so nervous I couldn’t showcase my voice like I wanted because it was shaky. I want to be more comfortable doing that. I also have a great friend who is very musically gifted that plays piano for me, and I want to do more fun stuff with her, musically.
• I want to go on a Girl’s Only trip sometime this year. I haven’t taken time away from my family (except a night or two here and there with MyKidsDad) by myself or with girlfriends, ever. 6 years now, I haven’t. I really need to! My step sister is getting married in Colorado in April and I’m hoping to go with my sister for the weekend. I would like to go one other time besides this. Maybe a skiing trip with girlfriends next November, or a road trip to the mountains with girlfriends in the summer… whatever it is! I want to go!!!! 

That’s about all I can think of. I’m sure there’s more… I will be glad if I can even just achieve 1 or 2 of these things. 

Do you make resolutions? Do you keep them?

** Edit: Last night as I was brushing my teeth I remembered my last goal for the year… to keep better oral hygiene. I have very weak gums and I’m very prone to cavities and other things, and I don’t take good enough care of my mouth with that considered. I’m going to end up toothless by my 40’s if I don’t start doing more!