My mind has a habit of going into hyperdrive at the most inoportune times. I stayed up late last night watching a movie with my SIL and MIL (The Illusionist – if you haven’t seen it, DO IT!), and then I got up early this morning, and was mega tired around 8pm. But now it appears as though I have gotten my second wind. I made the mistake of staying up to watch the Colbert Report. I had to know what he had to say about Stephen Colbert Day in Oshawa, Ontario! Funny stuff people, funny stuff.
As a pre-warning, this blog entry is going to be all over the place, as is my mind. Going off of only 6 or 7 hours of sleep (which may be a lot to some people, but I require at least 8 in order to function at full levels) and having been awake for almost 17hrs right now. These last 17 hrs have been very busy too, on top of all of that. So yeah, I’m about fried, but I can’t sleep. Because writing THIS BLOG is on my brain. And I am reminded of my first ever entry! Hey Blog, Get Outta My Head!! I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!!
Insanity overwhelms me at these late hours of the night. When I’m trying REALLY hard to get to sleep at a good time, it seems that is when my brain kicks into full gear, and I begin to think about anything and everything I possibly can. Just name it, I’m thinking about it. I have a terrible memory, always have. I’ve always wondered if this makes me more suseptable (sp?!?!?) to something like Alzhiemer’s (I really should use spell check) when I’m older. Or if I’d get it at a younger age. Some people can remember such details about their childhood, or past events. Me? Barely. I’ll have moments of memory, but they usually go as quick as they’ve come. Then, on top of that, I have these times when my brain goes into hyper drive (as I’ve posted about before) that I get all dreamy and thinking about things. Like, if I’ll have Alzhiemer’s one day. And I’m all “Shut up brain, I’m trying to sleep!” And then I start to get scared that I will have some sort of mental disease, and I’ll be in and out of “normal” functioning, and have to live at a mental hospital. I think losing my mind is one of my biggest fears. Not being in control. Not being able to rationalize and think clearly. There’s a big reason why I could never dabble into drugs when I was presented the opportunities years ago. I was too afraid of not being in control of my mind. That prospect scared the heck outta me.
That paragraph probably didn’t even make any sense. I’m not even going to reread it like I normally do. I’m just going to satisfy my mind in doing what I needed to do here on the computer so that I can go upstairs and fall asleep.
Thanks to all the Mommies out there who commented on my last post. Turns out I’m not so cold-hearted after all! Either that, or I’m going to have to make a cold-hearted club, and I think there’d be a lot more members than in the crying mommies club!! And I guess medication doesn’t have a whole lot to do with it. I’m just not much of a happy cry-er. Is that even a word? I doubt it.
Well…I guess that will do. I have relatives here from out of town, so if I’m not around much, that’s why. My nephew, who is the same age as The Boy is keeping us pretty busy at our house, the two of them are inseperable!! It’s great though, so nice to see him playing with another kid his age!
