So, I have this new friend. She is a neighbor of mine, and she’s really great. We have everything in common, get along awesome. The only thing is, her kids are out. of. control. They laugh and smile when they do something wrong, they are a little bit violent from time to time (often having scrapes and bruises from the other one beating the other one up), they are loud, obnoxious, rude, disrespectful, and everything wrong. They are cute, though, even through all that. Anyways. I really want to be friends with her, but our parenting styles are SO different. She really just does very little and gives empty threats, and I’m very much an action person, I deal with the things my kids do on the spot, in the moment. So, what do I do? They are starting to hurt my kids, laugh at ME when I end up being the one giving them a “talking to” when they’ve done something wrong, and I’m really losing my patience with their disrespect and disobedience. I have this really really great book that really helped me, and I want to give it to my friend and hopefully have a talk with her about what’s going on with her kids. It can’t be fun or rewarding as a parent to live like that. I think parenting is the one thing that no one ever wants to hear that they are doing wrong, or not good enough. No one wants criticism on their parenting, no one. But how do I remain friends with her… or do I have to give up on our friendship? It’s just really hard because we’re neighbors… so I can’t exactly avoid her. I feel like confrontation is my only option. Then if she hates me, so be it, but at least I didn’t end the friendship by ignoring her, right? I certainly don’t claim to know it all, but I know that I would be doing a lot of things differently, and I know that my kids are at very least more respectful than hers. Any input from the peanut gallery??
In other news, we went to the Canada day festivities yesterday. A parade, free kids activities, and finally the fireworks. They had these really huge ones go off, 2 of them. They were MASSIVE! And sooooo cool! The Boy asked me at lunch today why I didn’t bring the camera to take a video of it. Good question, my boy, good question. Too bad! Next time. I took a picture when we got home because all 3 kids were asleep in their seats leaning their heads the same way. It was so cute.
Is there any wordpress-ers out there who know how to insert photos without using this stupid gallery thing? I just want to insert photos normally!!
I walked into the kitchen today to find The Baby climbing the stove. The picture is in the gallery above. What a monkey! Guess I’m going to have to keep a closer watch on him. He also keeps trying to scale the ladder to The Boy’s bunk bed. He gets up the first step and then just stands there, but I’m sure it won’t be long before he goes up the whole thing. I’ve never had a climbing baby before! Also, I guess I need to change his name. He’s no longer “the baby” anymore, now that he’s walking almost all the time. He will always be my baby, as I don’t plan to have any more kids, but I’m going to call him Little Man from here on out. FYI! I’m thinking of changing Lil’ Miss’s screen name too, just haven’t come up with anything clever yet, besides THE MENACE. So, stay tuned.
**Edit: It just occurred to me I still had a winter header and page. It’s JULY for goodness sakes!! It’s changed now. 
Carolyn said,
July 2, 2009 @ 6:58 pm
Having a climber is awesome…I found BB standing on the kitchen table testing the strength of the chandelier.
As for your friend…that’s hard. I can’t STAND that. If that kid laughed in my face while I was disciplining, I think I’d have to tell my friend at that moment that it’s unacceptable because you don’t want your kids to do that. Blame it on your kids
If you really feel like you want to be friends with her and you are a lot alike, she may understand more easily than you think that her kids behaviour is just too detrimental to your parenting.
Carla said,
July 3, 2009 @ 5:59 am
Hey cuz…
As far as your friend is concerned, I would just casually start saying things in the moment. The child is acting horribly and laughs when scolded, I would say to her…”I would have no patience for that…how can you?” or something similar. Bring it up in a asking “why?” sort of fashion and see what her answers are. That way you will be able to judge if she would even take your advice if you were to share it with her. If she says, “Oh, it doesn’t bother me” or “It’s not that big of a deal” then your advice may just fall on deaf ears.
I like Carolyn’s idea of saying it’s going to adversely affect your kids behaviour. Especially if she just acts like nothings wrong after you ask her about it.