I watched the Dateline NBC last night which featured an excerpt on the Zion Ranch, a compound in the Texas countryside that is home to hundreds of members of the FLDS, or fundamentalist latter day saints, otherwise known as extreme mormons who practice polygamy. I have to say that my heart is breaking for these mothers and children. While I do believe that polygamy is wrong, and not God’s plan for the way we should live as New Testament christians my heart still aches simply as a mother for these women who have had their children taken from their homes. I can’t speak for the conditions that they were living in, only time will tell what was happening there. I’m pretty sure there are “child brides” and girls being impregnated by men twice their age (or more) before they are 18, and for that I’m grateful that they are taken. I’m glad that Warren Jeff’s is removed from it all and put in prison, as I do believe he’s a creep and a pervert. Obviously anyone living there under his rule and supporting him is also a creep and a pervert, but I just couldn’t help myself when I saw these women coming off of buses and vans without their children and their hearts ripped out. I immediately could sense their distress at the thought of not even knowing where exactly their children were. I think that was the biggest thing that bothered me. They were served no papers, had no record of where their children were, just some information sent home about how to be a better parent and what to do to escape abuse. The children, all ages from 0 to 17 were removed. My heart especially ached for the woman whose husband only had one wife, and together they had 7 children, 6 boys and 1 daughter. They showed pictures of her young daughter who was no more than 2 years old and she talked about how attached her daughter was to her mommy, and I was sad for that little girl. Also, having 6 siblings, it is unlikely that they were placed all together, they were probably split into groups. I’m very curious to know how the Texas state foster care system is handling a sudden addition of 400+ children to the system. And I fear for all of the horror stories you hear about abuse in foster care, and you wonder if there’s going to be children who would have been better left at the compound. It’s a very scary situation. I don’t really believe that removing all the children was the wrong thing to do, although I’m not entirely sure it was the right thing to do either. The mothers were given the option of going to a state provided women’s care home/shelter, which they’d have the opportunity to see their children at some point and however vague, I think if it were me I would have done that. Some of the women expressed distrust with the state and decided they wanted to go home to their husbands, but about 40 women chose to stay.
What do you think about the state removing all these kids? Do you think it was the right thing? I guess they are also taking DNA samples of every child and ever adult at the compound, to find out which children belong to whom. That will tell if there has been underage children giving birth to babies belonging to 50yr old men. It will also tell if the children are even living with their actual parents, as there are rumors saying that some women don’t even know who their real children are. Time will tell what will happen!
Gotta run, baby hungry!!!
Archive for April, 2008
Wishy Washy
I LOL @ LOLcats
Because I find any joke aimed at Canada’s national defenses (or lack there-of) amusing.
see more crazy cat pics
Say What?
Political Correctness, in my opinion, has gone waaaay too far.
It started with the women’s movement – no more Mailman (Mail Carrier), no more Fireman (firefighter), no more alderman (city councillor), etc etc etc.
Then, it transferred to describing people. No more handicapped (disabled), deaf (hearing impaired)… it even went so far that there’s no more short people (vertically challenged).
This idea of dancing around and not saying it like it is has reached a whole new level. No longer do you under-go a sex change. If you acquire one, instead you have had “Gender Reassignment”. I’d just like to know something. If gender is something that is to be assigned by us post-birth, like a task or duty or job, who is taking the assignment of the old gender? Hmmmm??????
Finishing my tag
So, I was tagged to do this thinger where I have to say a fact about myself for each letter in the spelling of my middle name. Here it goes!
L – Lactate. I am. Currently.
E – Eager. For summer to come. Very much so!
E – Exceptional. I have mad typing skillz. Like, over 80WPM.
I am supposed to tag people… but being outta touch in the blog world lately, I don’t even have many people to tag. So, I just won’t. But there it goes!!
The Bully
Yesterday we went out with a friend to an indoor play park. It was crazy busy with it being Spring Break and all, but I didn’t think it would be THAT busy. Anyways, The Boy is always excited when we go to the park and he usually says something like “maybe I will make a new friend!”. He loves meeting new kids and always finds someone at the park to run around and play with. So far, he’s been very good at making new friends. Well, as usual, he immediately had a friend or two with only minutes of being there. Today his choice of friend was a little girl who was very close to his age, if not the same age. They seemed to be having a great time together. A while later they were chasing around and as they walked right past me, The Boy tripped and scraped his hands. He started to cry a little bit, came right up to me and told me his hands hurt. Almost immediately he quit crying and I looked at his hands and declared him fit to go back and play. I never babied him or kissed him or anything. He ran off to find his friend to play again. Well. Once he found her, she started calling him a baby. He got really upset and told her he wasn’t a baby and started crying again. I looked up and noticed him crying and upset so I motioned for him to come over. He came and sat down next to me and was crying so hard I couldn’t even understand what he was saying. Finally he managed to tell me that she was “calling me a baby, but I’m not.” I tried to handle it simply as no big deal, and told him “yeah! You’re not a baby right? How old are you?” “Four.” “Right, see, you’re not a baby! That girl is just being a mean bully, and you don’t need to play with her anymore. There’s tons of kids in here today, just go and find someone else to play with! If she talks to you, just tell her that you don’t play with bullies.” And after that, he just sat there next to me, with my one arm around him and whimpered and did the gaspy breathing that people do when they’ve been crying too hard. After a few minutes I asked him if he was ready to go play, and he just quietly told me “I think I’m ready to go home.”My heart broke. He never wants to leave when we go places like that, and for him to say he wanted to go home was a serious sign that he was deeply hurt. (Besides the big ugly cry) I tried to convince him to stay, but he just wanted to leave. So we left. The whole time I was trying to think of the lasting effects and consequences of leaving and sort of “running away” from the problem, but I was also thinking of how it would feel to stay. You see, I was That Kid. I was the one that people made fun of in elementary school and even at home. And I never felt protected (in regards to bullies) by the adults around me, I felt very alone. I never ever want my kids to feel like that. I never want them to feel like I think that someone picking on them is “no big deal.” Lots of adults would tell children to “just ignore them” or some other piece of misguided advice. To a child who is being bullied it is a HUGE deal. Once you are an adult you can rationalize and see a little more clearly about your situation, but as a child it is the end of the world. And if a child could ignore it, believe me, they would. So, I confirmed with him that he really wanted to leave, and we left, with tears in my eyes too. I hope that this is something that won’t happen often to any of my kids, but you never know. I just hope that my kids at least feel safe and bully-free at home, and that they feel understood and protected. I’m not sure what the right approach is, whether you leave or stay, confront or ignore, or what. I’m sure there’s advice out there… sometimes I think adult intervention only feeds the bully’s fire though. Anyone have any positive experience?
Kindergarten
My oldest baby starts kindergarten this fall. We have started the process of getting him into a school somewhere. It just seems so overwhelming and scary! It’s such a major decision. Right now he’s attending Preschool at a Christian school, and we’d ideally like to keep sending him there for the rest of elementary school. I know he’s comfortable there, and we really appreciate the christian programming. We went for an interview yesterday and it was really encouraging. They gave us the impression that he is in, without actually saying it. It seems like their mission is really to show the children how God and Christ fit into everyday learning and life. I truly can’t believe how fast time has gone. It seems like just yesterday he was my sweet little baby boy, just me and him. Life was so quiet then… sleeping in each morning, lazing around each day, spending lots of time with each other and just soaking in every minute. How I miss those days, and having that special time with him. I think each child holds a special place in a mother’s heart, and there is something very special about the first child. Now it seems like I barely have time for him. I’ve been working on spending more quality time with him. It’s hard to get time in with him, when the other two children have such immediate needs. The Boy’s needs are more social, all of his physical needs he can mostly do himself. (Getting to the toilet, getting dressed, grabbing a snack or a juice box, etc) He’s starting to act up lately, and it took me a few days to fully understand why. The only way for him to get immediate attention, all be it negative, but nonetheless, is to throw a fit. I feel bad that it took me 6 weeks to recognize that I’m not taking enough time for him. It’s “in a minute” here and “one second” there, and then the end of the day comes and I realize I haven’t really spent much time with him. A week ago we made a behavior chart together, me and him. On one side we have “right choices” and on the other side we have “wrong choices”. We want to teach him that each time he reacts to something, he makes a choice – a right choice or a wrong choice. When he makes a right choice, he gets a reward sticker on his chart. After 3 reward stickers in one particular choice (truthfulness, respect, kindness/love, obedience, manners, and good behavior at school) he gets a “privilege”. He gets to choose what it is (getting toys back that have been put away, watching TV, playing video games, etc) which really helps him to feel like he’s earned it. On the other side, whenever he makes a wrong choice he gets an X, and after 3 X’s on any category (combined) he gets a privilege taken away. So far, after one week, he’s earned about 10 privileges, and only had 2 taken away. This is HUGE for him, he’s doing so well with it, and I couldn’t be prouder. It’s really helping me to remember to recognize his good behavior, and to not make a huge deal out of the bad behavior, that way he doesn’t see it as a way to get attention. I give him more attention for the good behavior. If any of you are having behavior issues with your older child, I highly highly recommend this kind of system! Last night I got to have some special time with him before he went to bed. His hands have been really dry lately (I think he’s not rinsing the soap off well enough after he goes to the bathroom) so I got some lotion and rubbed his hands for him last night while he was lying in bed. I could tell it was relaxing him, and we just sat and talked for a few minutes. While it’s sad to leave each stage of childhood behind, it’s exciting to experience the next stage alongside him. I think that’s what I love most about being a mother. Having the opportunity to experience the true joy in childhood and the excitement that goes along with. Everything is new and exciting and wonderful, it’s very refreshing. Lately when I look at Little Man I get a little sad thinking that this could be the last time I look into those baby eyes and watch those new little smiles! I just want to hold on to these moments for as long as I can! Because that is just what they are… moments. And they disappear so fast!I was going to leave a picture of my big Boy but it won’t accept my photo program today for some reason. *shrugs*
