With that kind of headline you might think that this post is about some quirky personality survey. Like, if you keep your forks in the drawer next to the refrigerator then you’re a meat-loving animal killer.

Well, sorry to disappoint you. I was just wondering because in this chaos that we call home I can’t seem to find a clean one right now. Right now, when I really really need one. I figure if I’m going to stab it in my eye, I at least should use a clean one. I wouldn’t want an infection or anything. So I guess the only thing holding me back from stabbing a fork in my eye is … well … not having one. A fork that is, not an eye. I have an eye. In fact, I have two. One on the left, one on the right. It between is my nose, in case you were wondering.

Yes, I am babbling and avoiding the subject of why I might want to put a fork in my eye. No, not put. Stab. Stab. MyKidsDad has been away less than 48 hours and I’m about to go bonkers. My kids are so loud. They don’t stop for a second. And I can’t keep up. And it’s exhausting. And now, not only are they tiring me out with all of their activity, I am starting to feel the baby move too. I can’t even lay down and be still by myself, because there is still movement going on inside of me. Is there any rest for the weary? I’ve heard not.

Does anyone have some rubber cement that they can teleport to my house right now? I need some, and I don’t feel like taking these monkeys out of the house. I suppose I have no choice. Do you think the people at the store will look down on us if Lil’Miss’s hair is all messy, and her shirt is all jammy from supper? Do you think they will care if my eyes are all red and puffy and there’s mascara smeared on my white sweater? I think today, I am past the shame. I don’t even care.

I’m sure I will run into someone I know. That’s just how these kind of days work. I’ll keep you posted.