Has anyone noticed how much pressure popular culture and media puts on new moms? (New moms being any woman with a child under the age of 5 or 6) I suppose this is really nothing new. I’m sure that through all time in history, moms have been under pressure to do the best for their baby or toddler, whatever that might have been in their era. It seems no wonder to me that up to 20% of moms have self-reported postpartum depression, according to the CDC. Remember, that’s also not including the moms in denial or that never seek treatment or admit that they don’t quite feel right. I think this generations battle is whether you’re a “natural” parent or not. The “natural’s” seem to think that they are doing things, well, naturally, for lack of a better word, and that the rest of us are caving to the cultural pressures. However, I think the tides have turned. I think the new culture in mom-hood has become this natural movement, and there’s a lot of pressure that comes with trying to do everything just right so you don’t screw up your kid.
It starts from the moment your baby is born. The La Leche League is peering through your hospital room windows making sure you are breast feeding. Or at least it feels like it. If you are having difficulty, you do all you can do - visit your local breast feeding clinic, cry, take hot showers, cry some more, and persevere. After all, if you give up, you’re a BAD MOM. If you do decide that the stress from it all is more than you can handle, then you are scrutinized everywhere you go by other moms and people who like to put their noses where they don’t belong. “Oh, you’re not breast feeding? It’s the best thing for your baby you know” the lady in the grocery line behind you says when she peers down at the formula on the conveyor belt. You just want to smack that smug look off her face and scream “YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!”. What people like this fail to recognize is that not every woman CAN breast feed. There are many women who are on life saving medication (like, for example, for epilepsy…so that while they are holding their baby and walking down the stairs they don’t go into an epileptic seizure and fall down the stairs and kill themselves and the baby) and so their breast milk is toxic to baby. Or others still, who have inverted nipples and don’t have the stamina to overcome the challenge that this presents. Or others whose milk dried up without reason and had nothing to give. If you’ve ever been one of these moms you could attest to the times you’ve sat on the bench at the mall giving your baby a bottle and experienced the rude looks from the breast feeding snobs in your town. And now, if you DO bottle feed, there’s even more to deal with. With recent scares of BPA leaching into milk and causing infertility and all kinds of reactions in test animals, I’m quite sure that the looks given to those bottle feeding are even worse. Here’s a great website to learn about which bottles are safe, and which kinds of plastics to stay away from.
Once you get your baby home, your next hurdle is the all the earth saps who are picketing in front of the diapering isle at Wal-Mart with signs begging you not to fill up the earths landfills with disposable diapers. 80% of diapering done in the United States is done with disposables, leading to 18 BILLION diapers (said like Austin Powers) and have the potential to leach human waste into the earth’s surface and ground waters, spreading all sorts of lovely diseases and killing us all. Although, of course, there’s been no evidence of that so far. What these statistics fail to tell you, is that diapers in landfills only account to 2% of the nations municipal solid waste. But lets be real here. Disposables use 10 times more resources (measured by weight and including fuels) than cloth diapers and create 50 times more solid waste. However! Disposables only use half as much energy and two thirds as much water!! Cloth diapers are great for landfills but they use up water and add to our sewage systems. So which is better for the environment you ask? While many of the cloth diaper-ers are screaming “Cloth Cloth Cloth!” in your ear while you stand in front of the disposables trying to pick something out, don’t let them sway you. The reality is, their ecological “foot print” isn’t any smaller than yours when it comes to diapering. I say, Be Free!! Diaper the way you want to diaper! Diaper the way you have time and energy for! Don’t stress yourself out over those cloth diaper screamers! FREEEEEEDDDOOOOMM!!! (said like Braveheart.)
Soon after you’ve got the feeding down, and the diapering down, it’s going to be time for your baby to eat solid food. Oh! The choices!! Guess what comes with this? More pressure!!! There are tons of different kinds of cereals, from brand name to flavoring/type of grain, to organic and all natural! If you feed your baby anything off the shelf that has more than 1 or 2 ingredients, your baby will be fat, suffer from a horrific disease, or die. If anything bad ever happens to your baby it’s ALL YOUR FAULT, even if it takes 50 years for the condition to develop. It must be because that person’s mom did “this and this and this” while he or she was a baby. How can anyone put one foot in front of the other every morning with that kind of pressure?!? I may concede on this one, that you should make sure that there’s no high-fructose corn syrup or other unnecessary preservatives in your baby’s food. However, that being said, I don’t think it’s necessary to stress out over whether something is organic or a certain twice the price brand name. As with anything else, you’re paying for a brand, not a product. If you want to go organic, then all the more power to you! If you don’t, then all the more power to you! I just wish all the organic types would quit trying to make us non-organic types feel like we are killing our babies by not eating organic. Not everyone can afford organic you know! It is generally more expensive, sometimes as much as twice the price!
Not too long after solid food (baby cereal) it will be time for fun! Introducing fruits and vegetables, and eventually meat! Although the fun might be robbed if you are subjected to anyone who makes their own baby foods! The funny thing is, that often these are the same people who will use organic baby cereal, but don’t use organic fruit and vegetables when making the baby food!! Hah! HAH!! *points at them in the face* I have decided that this time around I’m going to try to make my own baby food. I have had a website recommended to me by a friend of some recipes of how to make it just right, and another friend who knows of some really neat containers to freeze and store it in. I am all up for this. What I am not up for, however, is that if I decide that it’s too much work for me (being that I have 2 other kids under the age of 5) that I am dubbed as lazy and that I must not care and love my baby as much because I’m not “willing” to put in the effort. I’ll fully admit I’m one of the laziest people I know. My house looks like crap 80% of the time, and I just don’t know how to rise above it. Someone save me from myself… and all that stuff. But don’t tip your snobby nose at me, because frankly? It doesn’t work. If it did, I’d invite you all to do it daily, that way I’d have a clean house and a super powered baby, what with all this “natural” stuff going on. Speaking of a clean house, that’s a whole new topic.
What? Your house isn’t spotless? But according to media and all parenting magazines and shows and everything, you are supposed to have that under control! Your house is supposed to be inviting, and warm, and not smelling like baby poop! Didn’t you know there are all kinds of contraptions and devices you can buy to create the dreamy kind of setting you’ve seen in the celebrities 108,000 dollar nurseries. You also better watch out with the way you clean. If you use any product with chemicals, your whole household is going to melt like a pot of toxic waste. And don’t forget about anything you use with scent in it. I recently learned about off-gassing and the dangers that it presents to your lungs and your well-being. (Is anyone starting to get this kind of narcissistic and hypochondriac kind of feeling from these naturalists?) At least, if my house is unclean, I haven’t used any crazy products that are going to kill us all. Instead we’ll die a slow death buried in our own filth. And when the fire department comes, they won’t be able to find us under the thick layer of dust and toys that covers every surface of my house. I can’t decide which is a better fate.
The next pressure is the all consuming materialism. Not as much relating to the all natural movement, but it’s pressure, none-the-less. Your kid better be decked out in all the designer labels. He or she better not watch TV, or they will become a belligerent little hellion. (possibly true!!!) If you do let them watch TV it must be only Baby Einstein and other such shows that make you want to stab yourself in the face. You better have the coolest stroller, nursery, diaper bag, and baby gear in general. In other words, as soon as that little pee stick gives you the plus sign you were (or weren’t!) looking for, do not pass go, run directly to the bank or nearest credit card company. Or, get a second job. The baby better have the best and most educational toys, or he or she will be a dummy. Everything must have bells and whistles, or the baby will be bored (this is often pushed on us more by toy manufacturers than other moms). Stimulating! You must stimulate! If you don’t speak through every diaper change and everything you are doing, your baby’s speech will be delayed! If your baby is not attached to your body at every moment, his or her social development will be delayed! AAaahhhhh!!!!!
And last, but not least, we come to the greatest pressure of all. Parenting. Have you heard of “Natural” or “Attachment” parenting? These are the people who are afraid to use a negative word with their child. The ones that have convinced our schools that they are no longer allowed to give a child a failing grade. The ones that are more concerned with every experience in their child’s life being like a walk in a beautiful garden, then raising socially responsible and well rounded experienced children. (by socially responsible I just mean that these children are often so self centered they can’t deal with other children because they think the world revolves around their desires and therefore take over anyone else’s needs) These parents also want you to co-sleep, never leave your child’s side, allow your baby’s needs and wants to trump everyone elses (although this is sometimes legit), “natural” home birth (what birth isn’t natural?! A baby has to come out!!), breast feeding, home schooling, baby wearing, anti-circumcision, anti-vaccinating, etc etc etc!! (those last 2 are more huge pressures that I didn’t touch on here!)
In writing all this, I don’t mean to say that all these alternative things are BAD. I think you should make it a point to at some point, try at least one of them. I know I have, and will continue to. I definitely want what is best for my baby. But I don’t want to drive myself to insanity trying to achieve what everyone tells me is best. I don’t like all the pressure. I don’t want to be made to feel like I HAVE to do something, or I’ll just wreck everything pertaining to my kid. The most important thing you can give your kid is a calm relaxed atmosphere where they feel happy and loved. But I don’t think you should keep them in a bubble where they only ever feel happy and loved. Sometimes, kids will feel that how you are disciplining them is unloving. Haven’t we all shouted “You don’t love me!” at our parents, knowing full well that what they are doing is the whole meaning of love? I’m going to do what I want to do, when it comes to how I care for my kids. And I hope that everyone else does the same. There’s going to be stuff we’ll disagree on, but why do we have to pressure each other to do what we think is best? While I do know that your kid watching 3 hours of TV everyday is definitely NOT best, I don’t know if using organic cereal is going to make that much of a difference. So if you’re going to? Then good for you! But don’t look down on me because I don’t want to pay those prices at the check out. So my nursery didn’t cost 108,000? My child will not even notice or care. They will notice when I go crazy and shave my head and start partying like it’s 1999. I guess all I’m saying is, can’t we all just get along?
Cracking under pressure
Wishy Washy
I watched the Dateline NBC last night which featured an excerpt on the Zion Ranch, a compound in the Texas countryside that is home to hundreds of members of the FLDS, or fundamentalist latter day saints, otherwise known as extreme mormons who practice polygamy. I have to say that my heart is breaking for these mothers and children. While I do believe that polygamy is wrong, and not God’s plan for the way we should live as New Testament christians my heart still aches simply as a mother for these women who have had their children taken from their homes. I can’t speak for the conditions that they were living in, only time will tell what was happening there. I’m pretty sure there are “child brides” and girls being impregnated by men twice their age (or more) before they are 18, and for that I’m grateful that they are taken. I’m glad that Warren Jeff’s is removed from it all and put in prison, as I do believe he’s a creep and a pervert. Obviously anyone living there under his rule and supporting him is also a creep and a pervert, but I just couldn’t help myself when I saw these women coming off of buses and vans without their children and their hearts ripped out. I immediately could sense their distress at the thought of not even knowing where exactly their children were. I think that was the biggest thing that bothered me. They were served no papers, had no record of where their children were, just some information sent home about how to be a better parent and what to do to escape abuse. The children, all ages from 0 to 17 were removed. My heart especially ached for the woman whose husband only had one wife, and together they had 7 children, 6 boys and 1 daughter. They showed pictures of her young daughter who was no more than 2 years old and she talked about how attached her daughter was to her mommy, and I was sad for that little girl. Also, having 6 siblings, it is unlikely that they were placed all together, they were probably split into groups. I’m very curious to know how the Texas state foster care system is handling a sudden addition of 400+ children to the system. And I fear for all of the horror stories you hear about abuse in foster care, and you wonder if there’s going to be children who would have been better left at the compound. It’s a very scary situation. I don’t really believe that removing all the children was the wrong thing to do, although I’m not entirely sure it was the right thing to do either. The mothers were given the option of going to a state provided women’s care home/shelter, which they’d have the opportunity to see their children at some point and however vague, I think if it were me I would have done that. Some of the women expressed distrust with the state and decided they wanted to go home to their husbands, but about 40 women chose to stay.
What do you think about the state removing all these kids? Do you think it was the right thing? I guess they are also taking DNA samples of every child and ever adult at the compound, to find out which children belong to whom. That will tell if there has been underage children giving birth to babies belonging to 50yr old men. It will also tell if the children are even living with their actual parents, as there are rumors saying that some women don’t even know who their real children are. Time will tell what will happen!
Gotta run, baby hungry!!!
I LOL @ LOLcats
Because I find any joke aimed at Canada’s national defenses (or lack there-of) amusing.
see more crazy cat pics
Say What?
Political Correctness, in my opinion, has gone waaaay too far.
It started with the women’s movement - no more Mailman (Mail Carrier), no more Fireman (firefighter), no more alderman (city councillor), etc etc etc.
Then, it transferred to describing people. No more handicapped (disabled), deaf (hearing impaired)… it even went so far that there’s no more short people (vertically challenged).
This idea of dancing around and not saying it like it is has reached a whole new level. No longer do you under-go a sex change. If you acquire one, instead you have had “Gender Reassignment”. I’d just like to know something. If gender is something that is to be assigned by us post-birth, like a task or duty or job, who is taking the assignment of the old gender? Hmmmm??????
Finishing my tag
So, I was tagged to do this thinger where I have to say a fact about myself for each letter in the spelling of my middle name. Here it goes!
L - Lactate. I am. Currently.
E - Eager. For summer to come. Very much so!
E - Exceptional. I have mad typing skillz. Like, over 80WPM.
I am supposed to tag people… but being outta touch in the blog world lately, I don’t even have many people to tag. So, I just won’t. But there it goes!!
The Bully
Yesterday we went out with a friend to an indoor play park. It was crazy busy with it being Spring Break and all, but I didn’t think it would be THAT busy. Anyways, The Boy is always excited when we go to the park and he usually says something like “maybe I will make a new friend!”. He loves meeting new kids and always finds someone at the park to run around and play with. So far, he’s been very good at making new friends. Well, as usual, he immediately had a friend or two with only minutes of being there. Today his choice of friend was a little girl who was very close to his age, if not the same age. They seemed to be having a great time together. A while later they were chasing around and as they walked right past me, The Boy tripped and scraped his hands. He started to cry a little bit, came right up to me and told me his hands hurt. Almost immediately he quit crying and I looked at his hands and declared him fit to go back and play. I never babied him or kissed him or anything. He ran off to find his friend to play again. Well. Once he found her, she started calling him a baby. He got really upset and told her he wasn’t a baby and started crying again. I looked up and noticed him crying and upset so I motioned for him to come over. He came and sat down next to me and was crying so hard I couldn’t even understand what he was saying. Finally he managed to tell me that she was “calling me a baby, but I’m not.” I tried to handle it simply as no big deal, and told him “yeah! You’re not a baby right? How old are you?” “Four.” “Right, see, you’re not a baby! That girl is just being a mean bully, and you don’t need to play with her anymore. There’s tons of kids in here today, just go and find someone else to play with! If she talks to you, just tell her that you don’t play with bullies.” And after that, he just sat there next to me, with my one arm around him and whimpered and did the gaspy breathing that people do when they’ve been crying too hard. After a few minutes I asked him if he was ready to go play, and he just quietly told me “I think I’m ready to go home.”My heart broke. He never wants to leave when we go places like that, and for him to say he wanted to go home was a serious sign that he was deeply hurt. (Besides the big ugly cry) I tried to convince him to stay, but he just wanted to leave. So we left. The whole time I was trying to think of the lasting effects and consequences of leaving and sort of “running away” from the problem, but I was also thinking of how it would feel to stay. You see, I was That Kid. I was the one that people made fun of in elementary school and even at home. And I never felt protected (in regards to bullies) by the adults around me, I felt very alone. I never ever want my kids to feel like that. I never want them to feel like I think that someone picking on them is “no big deal.” Lots of adults would tell children to “just ignore them” or some other piece of misguided advice. To a child who is being bullied it is a HUGE deal. Once you are an adult you can rationalize and see a little more clearly about your situation, but as a child it is the end of the world. And if a child could ignore it, believe me, they would. So, I confirmed with him that he really wanted to leave, and we left, with tears in my eyes too. I hope that this is something that won’t happen often to any of my kids, but you never know. I just hope that my kids at least feel safe and bully-free at home, and that they feel understood and protected. I’m not sure what the right approach is, whether you leave or stay, confront or ignore, or what. I’m sure there’s advice out there… sometimes I think adult intervention only feeds the bully’s fire though. Anyone have any positive experience?
Kindergarten
My oldest baby starts kindergarten this fall. We have started the process of getting him into a school somewhere. It just seems so overwhelming and scary! It’s such a major decision. Right now he’s attending Preschool at a Christian school, and we’d ideally like to keep sending him there for the rest of elementary school. I know he’s comfortable there, and we really appreciate the christian programming. We went for an interview yesterday and it was really encouraging. They gave us the impression that he is in, without actually saying it. It seems like their mission is really to show the children how God and Christ fit into everyday learning and life. I truly can’t believe how fast time has gone. It seems like just yesterday he was my sweet little baby boy, just me and him. Life was so quiet then… sleeping in each morning, lazing around each day, spending lots of time with each other and just soaking in every minute. How I miss those days, and having that special time with him. I think each child holds a special place in a mother’s heart, and there is something very special about the first child. Now it seems like I barely have time for him. I’ve been working on spending more quality time with him. It’s hard to get time in with him, when the other two children have such immediate needs. The Boy’s needs are more social, all of his physical needs he can mostly do himself. (Getting to the toilet, getting dressed, grabbing a snack or a juice box, etc) He’s starting to act up lately, and it took me a few days to fully understand why. The only way for him to get immediate attention, all be it negative, but nonetheless, is to throw a fit. I feel bad that it took me 6 weeks to recognize that I’m not taking enough time for him. It’s “in a minute” here and “one second” there, and then the end of the day comes and I realize I haven’t really spent much time with him. A week ago we made a behavior chart together, me and him. On one side we have “right choices” and on the other side we have “wrong choices”. We want to teach him that each time he reacts to something, he makes a choice - a right choice or a wrong choice. When he makes a right choice, he gets a reward sticker on his chart. After 3 reward stickers in one particular choice (truthfulness, respect, kindness/love, obedience, manners, and good behavior at school) he gets a “privilege”. He gets to choose what it is (getting toys back that have been put away, watching TV, playing video games, etc) which really helps him to feel like he’s earned it. On the other side, whenever he makes a wrong choice he gets an X, and after 3 X’s on any category (combined) he gets a privilege taken away. So far, after one week, he’s earned about 10 privileges, and only had 2 taken away. This is HUGE for him, he’s doing so well with it, and I couldn’t be prouder. It’s really helping me to remember to recognize his good behavior, and to not make a huge deal out of the bad behavior, that way he doesn’t see it as a way to get attention. I give him more attention for the good behavior. If any of you are having behavior issues with your older child, I highly highly recommend this kind of system! Last night I got to have some special time with him before he went to bed. His hands have been really dry lately (I think he’s not rinsing the soap off well enough after he goes to the bathroom) so I got some lotion and rubbed his hands for him last night while he was lying in bed. I could tell it was relaxing him, and we just sat and talked for a few minutes. While it’s sad to leave each stage of childhood behind, it’s exciting to experience the next stage alongside him. I think that’s what I love most about being a mother. Having the opportunity to experience the true joy in childhood and the excitement that goes along with. Everything is new and exciting and wonderful, it’s very refreshing. Lately when I look at Little Man I get a little sad thinking that this could be the last time I look into those baby eyes and watch those new little smiles! I just want to hold on to these moments for as long as I can! Because that is just what they are… moments. And they disappear so fast!I was going to leave a picture of my big Boy but it won’t accept my photo program today for some reason. *shrugs*
Surprising Success!
So, last week, we officially did the switch with Lil’ Miss to her Big Girl Bed. She’s really into Disney Princess (gag) and so I bought her some toddler bed sheets for her bed. I told her that if she threw out her soothers she could have the sheets. And she did. I was sure that when she threw them out she would realize what she did and be really upset about it, but she wasn’t at all. She has cried for it only once or twice, and it was more of a whining for it, after a little reminding she got over it. I’m so proud of her! She seems so HUGE now, sleeping in that little bed with no soother in her mouth. Another success, I am currently sitting with Little Man lkkllklkpoopooooopopooppop - Hah! I just walked away from the computer for a second to answer the phone, and that is what Lil’ Miss typed while I was gone. Apparently she likes poop. With a stutter. Anyways, I’m sitting here with Little Man in the sling! I had bought a few a while ago to try with him, and he hated every minute of it, so I didn’t think I’d get to use them at all, which I had really wanted to. I actually make the pouch style ones, so I had one around that I had made, so I thought I’d try it, and sure enough, he’s snoring!! Hurray! I can actually get something done! Except that I’m sitting here instead of cleaning something. I really wanted to do laundry today, but our sewer backed up again last night. We have some shrubs out front of our house that keep growing into the pipes and blocking the drainage. The crews are coming this afternoon to chop it out, but until then I shouldn’t use a lot of water. The gross thing is that I had a bunch of clothes on the floor, right next to the drain where it comes out of. Ugh. This weekend I went shopping and got in on some sweet sales. Old Navy is moving a bunch of stuff at 40% off, and Tommy had 25% off all kids stuff. I’m trying to stock up on stuff for this summer. It used to be that I had closets full of stuff for each season that was all given to us, but it’s all gone now. It’s hard trying to buy a wardrobe for 3 kids!! People always comment on how well dressed my kids are, but I rarely rarely ever pay full price for anything. I almost always get stuff on clearance, 40% off the lowest price or whatever. You just have to go look!! Lots of times Old Navy clearance is cheaper than stuff you’d get at Wal-Mart or Zellers or anything! Same with the Children’s Place when they clear stuff out it’s usually pretty cheap! And lastly, a clever joke told to us yesterday by The Boy.”What does a PoliceMan get for Christmas?”"Uhmm, I don’t know! What?”"A Stocking!!!” ”Oh… uhmm… ok!”Followed by The Boy laughing at his own hilariousness. And MyKidsDad and I looking at each other trying to figure it out.
City Church
I’m sorry this is so lumped together - I can’t figure out how to get paragraph separations to work on this thing. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. :( It seems to me that there is a new wave of church fad right now. You might think it’s the mega church with people like Joel Osteen and others who are creating a massive empire out of themselves, but this is a less massive movement that has gone a little under the radar. It’s a following of a small “core” group of people who meet in a downtown or less-to-do neighborhood and call themselves a Church. This group of people is almost always under the age of 40, usually in and around their late twenties and early thirties. They have felt a calling toward the inner city and feel that the larger institutionalized churches aren’t meeting the needs of the people living there. Usually you will find them on Saturday nights or Sundays in a building that doubles as a place of business. The pastors of these churches are often the counter culture types, who call themselves a full time pastor but have ties/partially own the business that is running out of the building they are using for their church. (And I don’t mean that condescendingly, I mean it simply as a fact.) I have a lot to say about these churches in general so I’m going to try to organize my thoughts a little. I’ll start by saying that I acknowledge that all of these churches are individual and usually not associated with one another (there’s no formal “denomination”) but there are often a LOT of similarities between them all. Such as the ones in the previous paragraph. My first issue: Isn’t the place of worship supposed to be sacred? Most of these churches operate out of a building used for business every other time that the church is not using it. (Or even at the same time, the church just might be in a different room from where the business is operated) The building may also be rented out to different artistic venues, such as concerts, art shows, theatre productions, etc. I believe that tying a business up with God’s house is a very dangerous line to walk upon. Jesus showed how strongly he felt about this when he displayed his righteous anger towards the money changers and those who were selling their goods in the temple. He specifically said in Matthew 21:13 “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer; but you are making it a robber’s den.’ “ Many will argue the other verses where it is written that Christ does not dwell in buildings but within Man, and a host of other scripture taken out of context, but one must ask: if all God cared about was what is in our hearts(and not what we do), why would Jesus have had such a severe response to what was happening in God’s house? Shouldn’t we have the same perspective as Christ and be sure that God’s house is kept sacred? My second issue: Where are the older and wiser? Older doesn’t always mean wiser, I know that. But I know a whole lot more people who are wise that are old, than people who are wise and young. It seems that these churches rarely have anyone attending that are over 40, and definitely not over 50. They also often don’t have anyone under 20, except for the young children of the 30-somethings that make up the vast majority of the church body. I think this younger generation have excused all older and wiser people as stuffy, controlling, and set in their ways and have made off to do their own thing. They forget that within that demographic are a lot of very dedicated Christians who read their bible daily and have been for at least 30 years and have been on this earth long enough to recognize the Truth from a lie. These 50, 60, 70, 80, even 90-somethings have a LOT to give to a body of young believers, and I think this is a crucial part of the body. Think of a body of Christ as just that - a body. If all you have is a bunch of eyes and legs, it doesn’t make for a very complete body. My third issuse: Speaking of Christians, why can’t I call you a Christian? This new trend is not exclusive to the city church, but I felt like touching on it because it’s in the article that drove me to write this post. Many Christians are coming up with new words to call themselves because “Christian” has got a bad stigma to it. They are forgetting that Christ himself told the disciples that people weren’t going to like them or like it when they came around. If you are a Christian (or whatever you chose to call it) and aim to be Christlike, and like the disciples were, people aren’t going to like you or the message you have anyways, it doesn’t matter what you call yourself. Every last disciple except one was killed for their belief! Being persecuted for who we are in Christ should be readily accepted, it means we are living the way that the men and women of Christ’s day did, not something to be ashamed of and try to warp so that people don’t hate us as much. The definition of Christian from Webster’s Dictionary is “one who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ”. And so if the shoe fits…. My Fourth issue: Misplaced Respect (OK, more of a general issue, but the circumstance applies to the city church and is relevant in it’s example to other like churches) I think the word respect is overused. And I think it has lost it’s meaning. The article that I referred to earlier said something that I thought was just completely backwards. Here it is: “After a screaming rock session with offensive lyrics, artists approach him (the pastor) saying, “Thanks for showing us respect. Most people don’t respect us.” One of the core values of <insert church name here> is to grant dignity to everyone they meet.” There is a big difference between dignity and respect!! The previous paragraph in the article was highlighting what goes on during a typical Sunday morning, where they invite their artists to “share what’s in their soul, even if it’s dark and unbiblical and then we communicate respect” so I’m quite sure that this particular band played on a Sunday morning during a church service. How is it respectful to God to allow something like this to disrupt the time He set aside for us to show him worship and praise? It’s not. It’s also not respectful of this band to play in this kind of setting - in thinking that being allowed to play would be a demonstration of respect on the behalf of the people who are allowing them, they have fully disrespected the people allowing them!! It’s so backwards! A better way to reach these people is for the pastor to do the leading on Sunday morning, and save people’s “expression of their soul” for another time, because doing it like this is disrespectful to God, nevermind the Christians who are supposed to be doing “church”. Which leads me to my fifth issue. My Fifth issue: This is not what “church” was designed for. A question: When Christ went around from city to city, what was his purpose? Was his purpose to invite people to the temple or to someone’s house for church? Was his purpose to get to know Him so that they might want to hang out with him more? Was he careful not to offend, or politically correct about the way he spoke? What about any of his other disciples? How about Paul? Was Paul looking for popularity? All of these men were searching for lost souls. And I love that these inner city churches are considering the lost souls that are often forgotten by community and large denominational churches. I give them 100% kudos for that. I also believe that every person is unique, and individual, and therefore the way that we approach the gospel which each of them is unique and individual. However. None of these men used church as we know it to reach them. Reaching the unsaved was something they did outside of the meeting of the body of believers, which is what church is and should be. God cares about what we do on Sunday morning. He’s given lots of instruction about it in His word. A few different points about church from the Bible:
- 1 Tim. 2:5 We don’t need any human mediators between us and God - Christ is that man now.
- 1 Tim. 2:8 Men lift up their holy hands to pray, literally or figuratively
- 1 Tim. 2:9 Women should dress modestly and discreetly, and with good works
- 1 Tim 2:10 Women shouldn’t teach or exercise authority over men during church
- 1 Tim 3:2-7 Instruction regarding an “overseer”, either a pastor, bishop, elder, or whatever you chose to call it.
- 1 Tim 3:8-13 Instruction regarding deacons
Talking Lego
Does anyone want to play “Talking Lego”?? Huh? Huh? Anyone?????????? I think I’ve played about as much as I can for one whole lifetime. The Boy is in looooove with lego and specifically, Star Wars Lego. He’s only 4 so usually he much prefers playing with the mini figures and having conversations with them than doing very much building. Although lately, he has starting to “build with his imagination” as he calls it, and make different planes and vehicles with random pieces, which I think is GREAT. I must have an imagination problem though, because my Step-Mom sat down to play with him a few weeks ago, and used something else that was on the table as a planet base, and her and him had this whole planet and stuff set up out of nothing. And then they played and had force fields and caverns and all kinds of great stuff. I was kind of in awe a little bit. She does have a 7 (or 8? Oops.) year old boy at home, so I guess she has a few years of practice. Maybe that’s all I need. Practice. Oh, wouldn’t he be pleased if I told him that!! Today I was playing PacMan (I know, I know, I should be cleaning or doing something else constructive) and The Boy asked who the little critters were that were following me around, and I told him they were my enemies. And he told me that we need to love our enemies. It was awesome. I love how much he is started to put stuff together and really have understanding about stuff. With Easter coming up there has been a lot of talk between home, preschool and Sunday school about “Jesus died, but he’s alive now!” (in his words) and he’s really starting to get it I think. Even Lil’ Miss has been talking about it in her 2yr old chopped up language.Speaking of her, we were going to do the big girl bed with her this weekend, but decided to put it off until next weekend. There was too much going on this weekend (out late nights) to take the time to put it together and get her to bed in it! This past week she skipped her nap 2 days in a row. I know it’s almost time for her to give up the nap but with a 6 week old in the house I really appreciate that time that I get with my boys and to rest a little bit. Little Man mostly usually (hah!) sleeps during that time, and The Boy and I get in some good talking lego time… and sometimes I even get to nap for 20 minutes. She just requires so much more energy and supervision. Which I love, but it’s nice to have a break during the day too.I officially need to get up off my butt now. I’ve done nothing but sit on it allllll day so far. I think today should be the day I finally start doing my Pilates. It only takes 20 minutes. Maybe it needs to replace that aforementioned nap.
